My latest book on my list is called The “Not-To-Do-List” by Rolf Dobelli. A quite interesting read among the self-help books. The author has gone a different route with his creation and proposed a list of 52 habits and activities to absolutely avoid. While explaining how his list will inevitably lead to a miserable life, he also guides you in escaping and correcting your habits. A lot of self-help books will vast boast similarities, which in this case is also true. Nonetheless, here are my top insights; things I want to improve and reflect upon regularly.
Take Care of Yourself
This is an obvious one, but one I have neglected too much recently. My commitment to self-improvement was let off the hook. It has a profound impact on both your life satisfaction and personal success. Here are the big four to work on in this category:
- Consciously control your diet, exercise and sleep
- Have weekly personality improvement meetings with yourself
- Practice optimism daily
- You are not rational; no matter how hard you try
To lose some words on these topics; controlling your diet, exercising regularly and sleeping well is necessary for a fulfilled and healthy life. Studies consistently show that the three mentioned components drastically reduce a variety of mental health issues among countless other benefits. I feel tempted to use work as an excuse for the fact that I have suffered and am still recovering from a burnout. But perhaps I have run into these issues because of my neglect.
I have come up with this new strategy, which I hope will help me deal with all other points and many more to come. Every Sunday I want to hold a private meeting with myself. I will reflect on my weekly improvements, review goals and work on my character. Becoming a more resilient, optimistic and rational person as well as gaining better financial control is the main target. I have always taken pride in my rationality, although in reality none of us are truly rational. I now try to accept that and don’t take my opinions so strongly anymore.
Design your days consciously
We are all just people. Most of us do not plan their days. We like to follow routines and leave space for spontaneous activities. But is that really so good? The Not-To-Do-List taught me that a day without a plan is like an airplane without a destination (that also goes for your life). Would you step into a car without knowing where it is going? Then why are you starting a day without knowing exactly what has to be done? Every day should have an outline of what it’s going to be. Every activity should have a time frame. Don’t worry, you will get better at guesstimating your pace. Personally, I will not start another day without a plan. I am on a path thus I shall plan ahead without fail.
Aim for little
But be careful! Nothing ever goes smoothly in life. Mistakes are expected. So what does Rolf Dobelli teach us about it? Do not expect too much from life! Well, that is in fact quite unique. From my experience, many self-help books teach us to aim for the stars. Set ambitious goals. It is better to fail a marathon at the 40th kilometer than to finish a half marathon. But Dobelli teaches us that the frustration of dealing with mistakes, especially when our goals seem so out of touch, will eventually lead to an early forfeit. On the other hand, succeeding at moderately but realistic targets will keep us going. I don’t know the best thing for you. For myself, I do believe the book has a great point. You should try both paths and see which gets you further.
Lastly, fitting to mistakes, I want to talk about progress. An important topic of the book is the constant path of learning. It is what makes us human. The ability to learn many new things. But we only have one lifetime. You cannot experience the life of Elon Musk, Mark Zuckerberg, Steven Spielberg and live your own life. But what you can do is learn from their mistakes. The world of books has brought a colorful array of knowledge upon us. We now can access the lifelong insights of genius scientists, researchers, visionaries and many others compressed to a small book. Don’t be a fool. You can utilize infinite knowledge. Use it
Be humble
Alone you are nothing. This is more controversial than it should be today. In modern days, we strive for independence. We want to succeed on our own. Truthfully you can’t. Not a single achievement in your life was solely your effort. Sure, you have control over your actions. So what? That you can eat is the result of a symbiotic chain of hundreds of humans. Do you know how to build roads or raise cattle? Quite frankly, I do not. Either way, it would take billions of lifetimes to reach our modern days alone. So stay humble, you aren’t worth anything alone.
“Greatness is a byproduct of teamwork.” – Raphael Plotka
The book also teaches us to not be critics. I must personally admit that I have been a critic with others too often in my life. Whether I fully agree with the author or not, it is true that I have had many situations in which I have mantled dislike of others under the facade of criticism. And even genuine critique has harmed my relationships before. We are never foolproof. Our knowledge knows limits and you tend to help people by listening and not telling them how to do things better. You simply make yourself an asshole and nobody wants to be working with an asshole. Dobelli says that changing yourself is difficult but changing others is impossible. So do yourself a favor and leave others alone.
Avoid Negativity
Have you consumed news recently? Any YouTube drama? I have, and millions of others too. We have likely fallen for the traps of negativity. Unless you work in a top-notch field in which every minor event can boast drastic changes, such as a salesman for stocks, most news is useless for you. Do not get involved in drama. Opinions here are usually heated. You are always wrong and in the end you won’t feel good about yourself. In the future, I would rather invest my time in reading, working, exercising or just plain meditation.
The Not-To-Do-List especially taught me one thing, that I have fallen for way too often recently – nostalgia. I like to think back and dwell in “the old times”. But like the author said, it is useless. Life is ever changing, the past will never return. The more time you spend in your past, the less time you have in the future. Learn from past mistakes and move on. We also tend to overly romanticize our past, which will make your present seem to be a failure. Don’t do that and rather think about the future. It will make your life better.
Lastly and most importantly, don’t be a nagger. When bad things happen, most people can identify it themselves. Throwing it into their faces will simply put a strain on your relationship. If you don’t want friends, be a constant nagger. You know better than everyone anyway. Not to mention that plenty positive things happen daily but they are not within your scope of perception. Naggers only reveal themselves as Negative Nancy who nobody wants to be around.
Take Responsibility – For Yourself
This is the last topic of my personal insights. In the self-help space it is often taught that you must take responsibility; only for your actions. You are not a victim. No matter the situation you are in, in most cases you have shaped it. Say you are experiencing a burnout (like me before), I decided to work too much. I decided to neglect my body and my mind. I decided to ignore my body’s warning signals. I paid the price. It would be easy to say “my financial situation forced me” or “I did not have the time to exercise or cook healthy foods”… delusions. Take responsibility for yourself and great things will happen, I promise.
And here we come to my personal trap. Take responsibility ONLY for yourself. I used to set crazy goals that involved helping others. A noble target but an idiotic one. Dobelli’s approach taught me that I got it all wrong. You cannot force help upon people, you cannot change people. The wars in The Middle East were not caused by you (I hope). You don’t need to stop them. You don’t need to change the world. It is enough to change yourself and take care of your own responsibilities. Setting goals that include others is asinine, so don’t fall for this frustrating trap. Most of your goals should involve your personality.
Final Thoughts
Dobelli’s “The Not-To-Do-List” taught me some valuable lessons and strengthened some of my beliefs. I personally have caught myself committing many of the steps that lead to a miserable life. Through weekly personal meetings I want to ensure constant progress from now on. Reflecting on your personality on a schedule may be one of the most important things you can do. Take care of yourself and ONLY yourself, set realistic goals, stay humble and avoid negativity. A lot of these lessons should not also improve your satisfaction in itself but will also stabilize your relationships. I encourage you to take that path with me. Follow me along and see where my insights will take me. I hope you had a great read.
★★★★☆
Highly recommended! This book offers deep insights in personal development.
